anne’s sponge

       Okay, imagine all the time you spend sorting and filtering the tons of e-mail you receive each day. I think it’s safe to say that we all go through deleting what at first glance appears to be junk. What if you deleted something from somebody you mistakenly thought was gonna sell you another crazy trial-free product……….but it turned out that e-mail was actually from your long-lost friend and it contained revelation of his decade-old crush on you (Note: you once told this person that you liked him). Now that would really suck coz you will never in the world find out the feeling was mutual. But what if you didn’t? Imagine the flattery and thrill of learning that after all these years he actually shared (even if he totally shunned) your feelings. Just a little close to taking your breath away. Then again I guess it still sucks, huh. That is because you can’t help but wonder what could have been (Why, oh why, didn’t you tell me earlier, my friend?).

       Now what if you get this outrageous cellphone bill for minutes that are supposed to be free? You write and phone them, but get no reply. Would you stop? What if you keep trying and one day get a surprise $400 check in the mail refunding your overpayment. Isn’t that pure bliss?

       Oh, well. I never had a problem with self-expression and taking chances. I think I am a person who can handle rejection better than the distress from lengths and possibilities unexplored, resources untapped, potentials unrealized, curiosity unsatisfied, or simply QUESTIONS UNANSWERED. I believe it won’t hurt to ask sometimes, or demand explanation. I do not believe that what you don’t know won’t hurt you. In fact, it’s ignorance and unawareness that will. As a matter of principle, I like giving it a shot then failing rather than forever speculating.

      NEGATIVE outcome brings LESSONS or insights useful to another case or situation, but a hypothesis that’s sitting around untested takes you nowhere. When you obtain desired results most especially, you pat yourself in the back and say “You deserve that, girl, for trying!” After all, some of the greatest philosophers in the world made SCIENCE possible, simply by throwing in their WHAT-IFs.

                     “ The hardest thing in life is to learn which bridge to CROSS, and which to BURN”

                                                                     - Laurence J. Peter

         Often you find yourself limited to the past and present. Can’t tell what the future holds. What lies in the end of the bridge. You only REGRET and feel sorry traveling by yourself, without somebody. It would have been LESS LONELY. But then nobody said that because you are grieving now you won’t make the voyage. You just need time, that’s all……..(and maybe the right companion?)

        Burning a bridge is easy. You simply decide that it’s over….done…gone….kaput…. finished. It’s which bridge to cross that racks your brain. Making the wrong stride gives you the creeps. But nothing beats the excitement from life’s uncertainties, from packing up your bags for another day and a brand new journey. The BURNT BRIDGES won’t matter anymore. It’s not the same road but you know you’ll make it through. Suddenly life is good again.

       I have, as a child, always believed in Santa Claus. It gave me a lift knowing he is there for little children, that he exists. But as I grew, I knew better he never was there. It’s still nice to THINK of him…..but I have stopped BELIEVING.

       You can teach children between up and down, right or wrong, but never what they have and don’t. What is here and what is not. They decide based not on reason, but on the empirical. What they see, or at least hear……or feel,…… and what they don’t. They remember but, too, they might forget.

        As a parent, I think it’s a good idea to spend as much time or at least connect to them one way or another. It will be a shame to know you could have done more but didn’t.

        HAPPY 2^nd BIRTHDAY, my dear son Adriel Marlowe!